» Northwest Mud Chap

Tambry let out a little excited squeak as she splashed through a puddle, ridding the mud from the soles of her pale purple rain boots. Her friends had, of course, insisted on making a mess of themselves during the school day, skidding around on their bicycles and ending up with a healthy coating of mud over their clothes each time they inevitably wiped out. Thankfully, the purple-haired teenager had taken caution and huddled inside the protective material of her rain coat, making clean up from the sort of “splash zone” fairly easy. Now there were only a few scattered patches of drying dirt on her person, and she did her best to remove them as she closed the distance between herself and the mansion.

She brushed off what she hoped was the last bit before raising the same hand to knock on the front door, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet as she waited. Hopefully the few hours notice had been sufficient for the supposedly horrid Northwest boy to prepare himself for an excursion, and if not, well, she had her phone and would be more than comfortable waiting amidst the multitude of pets inside.


Maybe overall anxiety or claustrophobia? Like having to talk inside a crowded elevator for someone to press the button? I haven’t the slightest idea…

Sounds good to me. Yeah, free Pacifica… Taking one for the ~team~, right? But I wouldn’t get lost that easily. I’ve been to Gravity Falls before, but you probably didn’t notice because what’s another rich Northwest kid? Ugh, okay, I’m being overly dramatic and should get over this already. What’s a good time for you? I’m completely free for all I know. And I don’t, and guessing by your hair and pictures I’m already sure neither do you.

Both, perhaps? I never really enjoyed pollution, and one of my first schools was one of those “green” schools and I guess that, since I lived in the farm, it kinda got to me. I would love to see the woodpeckers. It’s been a while since I last saw any actual wildlife, really.

It’s definitely not claustrophobia. Believe me, I know what that feels like. Anxiety is probably the one I’m looking for. Thanks.

How about I come by after school? I’ll just need to stop at my house really quickly beforehand, but then we can head out right afterward. 

Wait, you lived on a farm? Really? And you don’t enjoy pollution? 

…I don’t suppose voicing your opinion on that could maybe influence your family to try cleaning up the mess they made in the river? Seriously, it’s really, really bad. I don’t want to get you all depressed or anything by showing it to you when you should be on vacation, but the runoff from your family’s factory has some seriously fucked up side effects on a lot of poor animals.

I’d marathon Lord of the Rings with you
—ancient proverb, displaying an enormous amount of love and tolerance (via middle-earth-and-westeros)



Who the hell invented the word “smexy” and what the fuck does the letter m in it even stand for



can we take a moment to appreciate how HUGE kakapos are

big chubby parrot BABIES 

REBLOG | Posted 3 hours ago With 2,194 notes
tags: #bill


iPhone camera doesn’t like red >:(

As always: if you have any questions about my hair or need tips on how to do your own, I’m your girl ^~^


I’m a mystery wrapped in an enigma I guess.  Oh, and Bill is here!  I took him to the place I used to work, but it’s a bit late.  I got pizza for dinner!

Yeah, you are. A very sweet, brotherly mystery wrapped in an enigma. Thanks for letting me know Bill made it over there, and for feeding him, too. I’ll go over sometime tomorrow to teach Gus how to prepare vegetables the Madan way.

Bedtime. Goodnight, Gravity Falls. I’ll see you later.

REBLOG | Posted 11 hours ago With 1 note
tags: #tambry talks


So you say.  And the way you talk is pretty keen as well.  Never stop, Lavender.

…you know, I never can tell when you’re seriously complimenting me, Billy Mischief.

But, um, yeah, I’ll keep talking the way I do. Thanks, I think.


Fine.  It’s Tambry-talk then.  I love peppering my language with fucking swears and shit that scared fucking adorable Gleeful boys and make me sound like I belong in the fucking north Pacific.  Nerd.

Shut up, asshole. It was only one fucking adorable Gleeful boy that I scared, and he’s totally okay with my swearing now that he knows I’m not mad all the time. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with talking like a sailor. I look cute as hell in a sailor inspired outfit.


Musta.  Huh.  I wouldn’t even know how to weed ‘em out, now.  Well…wait!  Now that I think of it, that’s great!  I can really confuse my neighbors by saying future shit!  Those fucking nerds won’t know what the fuck I’m saying!  It’ll be hardcore!

I will this time.  Thanks, doll.

Uh, I’m pretty sure people know what “fuck” means in 1930. Calling someone a fucking nerd will probably get you dirty glares, especially from parents with children nearby. And hardcore? Really? You are seriously the biggest fucking dork in the multiverse.

It’s no problem, Billy. Has Bill made it over there yet, by the way? 

((So mature, Tambry))


I- oh?  I wonder how I got that particular phrase in my lexicon?

They’ve never metta demon, though.

That’s what the internet is for!  And time travel!  Bill doesn’t want to do it, but I can!  It will sure be fun to learn future history!

Maybe it’s from all the time you’ve spent accidentally reading my mind? I think of a lot of nerdy shit when I’m on my own, and I’m sure there’s been at least a couple of repeated phrases and words that have managed to burrow themselves in your brain.

…kind of weird to think about, really.

Just be careful, with both the gnomes and time travel. I don’t want you getting stuck in a new universe for too long. You know we prefer it when you’re home safe. And if you get stuck, ask for help. Seriously, I hope you’ve learned your lesson about pride.

» Time(ywimeyten) for Another Adventure


      “—Tambry, you’ve just described my life.”

He wasn’t joking. Honestly, he felt so selfish, even if he had no reason to, really. Well, besides survivor’s guilt. And his constant self-blame. He knew it was silly. Knew it was. But—For a young girl like her to shoulder the responsibility of others, and feel what he was feeling…

       Oh, no one should ever have to shoulder that kind of pain. Not so young. All he could really do was squeeze her shoulder, and reply, “—You’ve done so much. That’s better than nothing, and if your ‘being selfish’ is wanting to help others, then I’d say that you’ve got your heart in the right place. ‘s worse with me. I’ve got two.

Tambry nodded at his words, noting his rather serious tone but choosing not to comment. Maybe later, if and when she ever got the chance to know him better, she’d be able to listen and attempt to comfort him. Right now, though, she was content to let him soothe her as he saw fit.

"Thank you, Doctor. That really… wait, two hearts? Really?" She held her breath and shut her eyes, pressing her ear a little bit closer to his chest in an attempt to hear such a strange physical anomaly. A few seconds passed before she let out a little note of surprise, pulling back and covering her mouth with her hands. "You’re an alien! And this… this is your spaceship!”

Oh, if Tambry was impressed before, that was nothing compared to how she was now. She wanted to know everything about where the spaceman came from, what other technology his people had, how many more of him there were… oh gosh, what if he wasn’t even a him?! He was an alien, surely his culture had different rules for addressing each other. Oh, what if she was being rude when she called him - uh, them - sir?

But for some reason or another, she wasn’t able to formulate her thoughts into coherent sentences. All that came out when she finally moved her hands was a tiny, ever so childlike gasp of wonder.



sometimes dogs get embarrassed that someone saw them acting anything other than a majestic and stoic beast